31. I Rolled With It
I was going to college on the GI Bill and got a job working in hospital security. This local hospital had been gobbled up by the growing medical center. The GI Bill was going to come up short with the new policies, so when I was about finished with my degree, I had to work there for a year after I stopped taking the money or pay it back.
I was mad at myself because now that I had the degree, I could get a better job, but I would have to ransom myself. To make my life easier, my wife found me an adult pair of Heelys. It was her idea that I wear them to work because I had to walk the grounds a lot, both inside and out. I had a bad feeling about it, but she acted as if I didn’t, I must not like her gift. I should’ve listened to my gut.
I wore them on a Sunday shift because not much went on, and it was glorious. I was rollerblading like a kid in the 90s. However, unlike rollerblades, Heelys have a chunky back made of rubber, positioned roughly where a rollerblade brake is, but it’s not a brake. I discovered that on a perimeter check when I decided to take a hill as if I were on rollerblades.
I was quickly going way too fast, had a lot of hill left, and ditched. Miraculously, I only sustained a scuffed pant leg and scraped the radio. Also, miraculously, I was just off camera when I fell. I wasn’t fired immediately, but I was fired the first time my shift overlapped with the manager. I pretty much knew what was coming. I shook his hand, said my goodbyes, and left. I got two part-time jobs immediately, which I built on. I didn’t try to get fired, but it worked out.